dontlikered

Where to start...............ive had the weekend from hell! Boyfriend doesnt give a fuck bout me anymore or might as well just say it. I didnt mind his brother coming to stay but hes one of these people who are a bad influence on him tho! Last time i seen him was 12 mid day friday! Considering i live him with not really a good sign......hes been a complete arsehole he decided to stay in a hotel on friday night or so he says :s which i dont understand why to be honest! He ordered me a throttle cable on friday kept the receipt so i couldnt pick it up! So he forgot got it late last night then decided to fit it and break my car which meant i couldnt go straight to my mams after work either :( All he has done is drink constantly, then wonders why im pissed off at him for like not even wanting to see me! ARGHHHHHHHHHH Just dont really see the point anymore, i never getting invited to go out when hes here but its ok for him to invite all his other friends! And its not as if he lives far away he lives in leeds and his gf kicked him out for hiding stuff from him and thats exactly what the knob of boyfriend seems to be doing to me now or so it seems! Mae i dunno getting myself proper pissed off my stomach kills when i get stressed but cant help it when hes constantly been an arse then i get tonsoilities oooo yay just the thing you need when your at work all day

Ok so maybe i got him back, but you know when you've wanted something for soo long then realise its not what you probably wanted?!?

I cant deal with the constant i want to fuck you to other lasses and the weird thing is he doesnt even know i know all of this! So why cant i just leave him, why does life have to be sooo complicated all the time!

I feel like shit, whats the point in having an relationship with someone that wants other people!

ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

So i havent posted an entry for over a year now well bout 82 weeks apprantely!

Well as you can gather alot has happened since then! Ive had a hell of a couple of years really!

Miscarriage two year ago this year in july, lost both my nans last year but i also met some awesome people along the way!

Paul love him to bits, together for 8 month meant the world to me and still does! As much as i want him back, and apprantely he has similar feelings..........why would you wanna go and fuck someone else? but then blatenly lie bout it! whyyyyyyyyy?!?!?!?!?! i know we aint together so yeah it shouldnt matter really but it does when they say they love you and want you back and then go and do that! But if i never found out would he still be going to fuck her tonight?!?!?!?!?!?!

Then theres ceri............awesome i love her shes my little sweetheart! Been there through everything, and i love her!

G......only just started talking to her but shes cool, her bf adam is crazy as foook but man there good together regardless of all the shit thats been caused!

Its weird how two faced people can become too.......last night you see people been friendly as fuck but you know they dont like them.....whats the crack with that! Espically the lass paul wanted to sleep with hates me but still made the point of wanting to talk and take photos of me! whyyyyyyyy?
Why cant i get it out my head why didnt i just leave it when we ended why does love have to hurt soooo much! Why is it everyone else seems to know shit before you do also seem to be the last to know :( All my emotion of missing him feeling guilty is turning into anger! Why cant i just get over it! I know i love him but why cant i just cope with the fact he dont want me anymore or he does just likes been single..........or is it cos i dont wanna let him go cos weve been through wayyy to much and the fact hes always been there for me regardless of what anyone says we were good together, miss everything bout him all his cuddles, stupid little things he done whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

Should i leave uni or not? I wanna leave but is it a wse choice i just dunno

Well im rather bored!! i dont no what to do. Ive been thinking bout stuff today, involving a lot of people cant really go into detail bout it but yeh. Its made me think bout a few things, cant get my head around it, i dont no who i feel bout him, ive been close to him lately but he can annoy the hell out of me sometimes as well. I dunno its stupid i cant even tell him.

Well on a good note i was talking to alan today :) hes alright which is good. Glad someone is.

Im gonna go before people get sick of me lol

Byes
x

Raver Bear


Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
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These things are pretty good well they are when ur bored.

RAA ive gone a bit loopy drank too much pepsi. Well claires not goin to alans pissup now and chris is leavin and not comin back so i cant get pissed and not worry bout what i say YAY. Its a shame they aint comin bk tho, it would have been nice to see her and actually talk to her face to face.

Raa its rather random and i dunno if this is gonna make sense lol

Think i better go lol before i rant anymore

See ya on Friday Alan Byes